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Let You Go – Poem

An original poem to accompany the story ‘The Cellist’. ‘The Cellist’ is free to read on Wattpad here. It’s also been entered into the Wattys2014, so if you like it, please share, comment or vote.

** This poem contains Male x Male themes and explicit content. **

2 hearts

Bodies entwined,

Mouths hot with action.

Swaying to the rhythm

Only we can hear.

Hearts pound,

Breathing increases,

Hands fumble,

Can this be real?

Will you ever be mine?

I need your heat,

Your hot, sweet tightness

Around my aching steel.

I need your breath,

Seeping into my mouth.

Your hands on my hot skin,

Your tongue dancing with mine.

A one time thing,

Every time we’re together

You say ‘It won’t last’.

You say you’re not ready,

You can’t stand

To leave your life behind.

To step out into

The unknown.

How long can you live,

A lie? How long can we

Suffer these feelings?

I can’t take much more.

Bodies frantic,

Shaking with desire,

Hearts bursting,

With long forgotten need.

2 hearts

I would give it all,

Just for you.

I would risk my life,

To show you real love.

But you hide behind,

Your fancy life and

All that money.

But the money will never,

Satisfy your hunger,

For me.

For my body.

For my love.

Two men, full of desire

Only for each other.

You say ‘It’s wrong’,

Yet you can’t get enough.

You want me,

Hot and naked,

All over your body,

All the time.

But this is the time.

Tonight is the end,

Of the heat that

Consumes our souls.

Once tonight is over,

You will have your lies.

I hope they comfort you,

Deep in your hollow hole.

Never again, will I

Forgive you.

Never again, will I

Touch your heart with mine.

Your eyes bore into me,

As I tell you.

Your heart pounds,

Your hands sweat and shake.

I can see it will kill you,

Like it kills me.

I know it will hurt you,

As it hurts me.

But you did this to us.

You betrayed what we share,

Cast my love aside,

And say you don’t care.

You laugh with your friends,

Call men like me names,

Behind my back.

You act the part well.

Whether you admit it,

Or not, you’re gay.

You’re who you were

Meant to be.

No amount of acting, or

Lying will change you.

Your body, your heart and

Your mind, will always

Crave mine

Just as I crave yours.

But you can’t face the truth.

Dreams are not reality.

You can keep your money,

Your job and your friends.

You can call me names,

When our bodies break apart.

2 hearts

Once you can breathe again,

I will leave you forever,

To live the dream of your lie.

You can be who you wish to be

Rather than who you are.

You can pretend to love

Who it is safe to love,

Rather than listen to your heart.

I swirl my tongue,

Over your pulse,

I feel the need and heat,

That binds our souls as one.

I feel our bodies,

Thrusting in time,

Moving to the beat

Of our desperation.

Tonight is the last time,

You shall touch my soul.

The last time

I let you go.

My heart breaks as you

Kiss my lips,

Wild with passion.

My body reacts,

Though my mind recoils.

The time has come,

But I cannot bear,

To let you go.

I said the words,

You know I meant them.

But when it comes down

To it, I love you.

That will never change,

Though I wish it could.

I will bend, my heart

My mind, my soul

Just so that I can love you.

You cannot change for me

So I will change for you,

Regardless of how I feel.

You look at me,

With those green eyes.

You kiss me, with those

Soft, pink lips.

I drown in your gaze,

As your fingers grip my hips.

Again and again we soar

Soaked in our desire.

Night turns to day,

And I lie to myself,

As much as you lie about us.

When will it end?

You tell me you love me,

You promise to change.

I pretend to believe you

To avoid the pain.

I fall asleep in your arms,

Warm and safe,

Dreaming of us,

Devoid of love.

2 hearts

I wake alone, to another

Note. You had to go,

You had to work.

It’s a familiar story.

But I can read between

The lines. I see

What you really mean.

You ran to escape.

You can’t face the truth

Of how you really feel.

You hide and run,

Whenever it feels real.

I get so used to your lies,

It’s not even a surprise.

But no matter what I do,

It still hurts.

I feel the heat of your body,

Always on my skin.

I still feel the fullness

Of your eager thrusts.

The way you love me,

Is a constant phantom

Sensation in my body.

It will never fade.

Even when you’re gone,

When I finally

Let you go,

That will stay the same.

You can move on,

You can find another.

You can live a lie,

But I never will.

You are always

In my heart,

Your breath a memory

In my mouth.

You’re a taste I

Will never forget.

A heat that will

Never leave me.

You put a spell

On my heart.

It is yours

Forever more.

You can take it with you,

When you go.

I will never

Ask for it back.

I’m not mad that you

Can’t come to terms

With who you really are.

I’m just sad.

I love who you are,

The you on the inside.

But I can never truly

Learn to love you,

Deep down inside,

If you can’t love yourself.

It’s better if we stop

Before it hurts too much.

Before you sink low

Enough to lie so much,

That I will never

Be able to forgive you.

Find a girl who can

Give you what you want.

I can and will only

Give you what you need.

2 hearts

I spend the day,

Packing my life

Into one small bag.

It’s surprising

How little is here.

I guess it speaks volumes

About our real

Relationship.

One or two items, a few

Pieces of clothing,

That’s all there is to represent

Our commitment to each other.

I pack, I write, I feel

As I wait for the day

To come to a close.

Tonight is the end.

This time I will not

Back down and fail.

Tonight I will do

What needs to be done.

For you, for me, for us.

For the relief we will feel

Once the pain

Is finally over.

I drift in a daze, from hour

To hour. I’m numb,

Empty of hope.

My soul is broken.

2 hearts

I hear the key in the door,

My heart begins to pound.

I sit in the dark,

Because I can’t bear

To see your face.

The realisation, the pain,

The fear that fills

Your tender heart.

I can’t carry on,

Playing the part you

Have written for me.

I cannot live a lie.

You flick the light,

I’m blinded

Just for a second,

Before I see your face.

Everything is there,

Just as I knew it would be.

But for once, you

Don’t turn your back.

You step forward,

You get on your knees

On the floor, before me.

I’m stunned.

I can’t breathe. I’m afraid.

Something breaks

Inside of me. I cry,

You cry. We cry together.

No words are needed.

We both know.

We either accept it

Or we fight.

You say you’re sorry.

You say you love me,

I don’t know

What is more surprising.

That you mean it

Or that I believe you.

You take my hand,

It shakes in yours

I can’t breathe for fear

That grips my heart.

I can see something

In your eyes.

It wasn’t there before.

I see a resolve,

But I don’t know

What it’s for.

You reach back and

I fear it’s the end.

You will tell me,

Or show me

That you have someone

New. A girl who

Can’t love you,

Like I do.

But it’s not a photograph,

Or a phone to show

Me your deceit.

It’s a box.

Small, black and velvet

It breaks the dam.

I cry so hard

I hyperventilate.

I choke on my fears,

As you smile.

You say ‘No more lies’

You say ‘I love you’

‘You’re my world’

‘I’ll never leave you’

‘You’re my new dream’

‘A life together’.

2 hearts

I throw myself

In your arms

So hard that you

Fall back onto the floor.

I hold on tight,

As you laugh and

Wrap your arms around me.

I sob, I laugh, I sigh

I connect my lips

To your neck. I feel

The beat of your pulse.

It races in time with mine.

I take your earlobe

Between my lips.

I suck on the pierced skin,

Toying with the metal stud.

You groan, I moan,

I feel the dig of your

Desire in my hip.

I gasp and pull back.

You open your mouth

Intending to speak.

I won’t let you. I don’t

Want or care to know.

I kiss your lips and

A tongue penetrates

The depth of my mouth.

I grasp your shirt,

I pull it up, tugging with

Desperation. There’s

Surprise in your eyes,

‘Don’t speak’ I command.

This isn’t the time to talk.

I need to feel,

To touch, to explore

Every inch of you.

In the frantic scramble

To remove our clothes

The box falls to the floor.

It clicks, it opens,

And my heart stops.

The words alone

Were more than enough.

The gift meant nothing

At all to me.

A peace offering, a

Thoughtful gift to

Mark the moment.

The ring glistens,

Sparkles and winks at me.

The room stills

With silent whispers.

The world continues

To move, but I cannot.

A touch brushes up my arm,

I can barely feel it.

I start to shake and push

Back, to sit on my heels.

My vision blurs,

I can’t breathe.

‘Baby,’ You sigh, caressing

My cheek. I pant and

Fall back against the sofa.

Everything goes dark.

2 hearts

I open my eyes to

See your face, staring back

At me. The love and concern

I see there shocks me.

I delight in the sight.

I’ve never seen that look

In your eyes before.

I never thought I would.

I tell you I love you,

I ask you to explain.

You tell me things

I can’t believe.

Things I want to trust,

But find impossible.

It can’t be real.

I must be dreaming.

I’m convinced of it now.

I fell asleep, waiting

For you to come home.

I’m still dreaming.

This is my fantasy,

What I most desire,

The future I long to

Secure for us.

But you’re there.

You’re real and solid,

You touch me and

I melt inside.

‘I was worried,’ You claim

Making my head spin.

You try to explain;

You say it’s over.

The lying, the money

Your old life is gone.

You can’t choose the lies

Over me.

I planned to let you go,

And you couldn’t

Allow that.

You would rather

Face the consequences

Of hiding your truth,

Than lose the

Love of your life.

You ask me to stay.

You ask me to share

Your life, from that moment

Until we die.

‘I will never stop

Loving you. I can’t

Live without you. You

Are the air I breathe.’

It’s everything I’ve

Dreamed of and more.

Everything I thought

Could never be.

‘Marry me?’ You ask,

As if there is any chance

That I will give an

Answer other than

‘Yes!’

I scream, you laugh,

I cry, and you kiss me.

I feed on your mouth.

2 hearts

I grasp your hair, pulling

You into my arms.

I refuse to let you go.

Our love will never end.

Still naked, still full of

Heat and hunger,

I climb onto your body,

Wrapping myself around you.

I accept you,

With well practiced ease,

As if our bodies were

Made for this moment.

Our tongues move as one,

We grind slow and true,

Reaching for the end

We long for.

2 hearts

Hours later, our bodies

Entwine on the floor,

A ring on my finger and

Your heart as mine,

You’ve proven me wrong,

My dream is my reality.

I tried to let you go,

I did what I could, to show

You that I love you.

And now that it’s over,

Now that tonight is at an end

Now that our troubles are through,

We step forward into the future.

With a love to share,

Hearts true and strong,

The lies are exposed,

I will never let you go,

I will fight to the end,

Together we can overcome

Our past and venture

Into a fulfilling life.

A symbol of our love

Is a start to forgiveness,

But without the ring

I still know the truth.

You have given up everything

That matters to you,

Because you love me.

Finally, we can love in

Equal measure. We can

Sacrifice and support

Each other.

I will stand by you,

No matter what happens

No matter what your friends

Say about our truth.

Even if you lose all

Of your money, your job

Your life of entitled

Wealth and privilege.

Love will see us through,

Beyond the limits of

The world around us,

To the future ahead.

2 hearts

I will lay in your arms,

Kiss your lips,

And adore your body

Until the day I die.

I will fight for our love,

With my last breath

Until the stars

Fall from the sky.

Now is the end of our

Troubles, and the start

Of something new.

It is the time

For us to throw off

The past that has hurt

Us so much,

And rejoice in our present.

2 hearts

With this ring, I thee wed

I pledge my life, my love

My past, my future

And my heart.

I give these gifts to you,

The love of my life,

The beat of my heart,

The breath in my body.

I give my life to you

Do with it what you will.

Only love me, and let me

Love you in return,

It will not always be easy,

We will fight and scream

We will long to embrace

And sometimes escape.

Love is pain and hope,

Danger and fear.

With this love, may we

Bask in years of

Light, hope, faith

And virtue. May we

Embrace our loyalty

and fidelity.

The years ahead of us

Are happy and full.

Let this struggle be the

Lesson that leads us

Through the dark.

With warmth and desire,

We will surpass the passion

We have felt so far.

I promise to let you go,

When the stars fall,

When the sun fades, and

When my love for you dies.

No sooner than that moment,

Will I ever risk

The loss of you from my life,

And ever let you go.

The End

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